Just Because I’m Not Crying Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Care

By: Hannah Dearth

I’m a cryer but at times when I should...I just can’t...and it doesn’t mean I don’t care.

I’m a cryer. Everyone knows this about me.

I cry at commercials. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I’m excited, or mad, or sad.

But...when tough stuff happens, when those really big moments happen...I don’t cry. Maybe it’s adrenaline, or just the way God made me, but...

I didn’t cry as the girl driving did when I had to keep someone in college awake in the backseat from an overdose on the way to the hospital.

I didn’t cry as I held my husbands hand when my father-in-law took his last breaths.

I didn’t cry as we rushed my son to the hospital when he needed stitches from a dog bite as an infant.

It’s not that I don’t feel...it’s the opposite. It’s that I feel so deeply, and I know it’s contagious. When someone else cries, or yawns, or laughs... we want to too.

So in situations when others are crying...in the really tough stuff...I don’t cry.

I’m the one keeping it together so that we can figure it out.

I offer a hug. I listen. I’ll share a kind word. Whatever you need, I will be there, but I probably won’t cry. At least not in the moment.

Just know, not crying in the tough stuff doesn’t mean that I don’t care. It’s in fact the opposite. I care so deeply that I want to keep it together so that we can get through this.