My four year old notices everything. He lets me know he recognizes when I sigh (which is apparently more than I consciously knew) and asks why I’m “frustrated”. He sees if I’m distracted and lets me know if I’m on my phone too much. It often makes me wonder lately if out of all my effort what will stand out the most for him is when I fall short.
Today, I realized he also notices the good. At quiet time he gets a cartoon or play doh/drawing, while the one year old naps. I usually read my Bible then. She is sleeping less than her usual lack of sleep, and I just wanted to sit a few moments today and do nothing. Then, my four year old got up and he brought me my Bible with a big smile. We talked about Bible reading for less than a minute (toddler focus, am I right?)...but I could see it on his face. This matters. He remembers this too.
It makes me emotional because I remember my mom’s Bible with all of the ink pen marks, photos and cards tucked in pages too. God always gives me that little something I need: a memory, a small gesture etc. to let me know He is there and working.
You guys... they will remember this...and this will matter most. It will matter most because this is where momma goes to seek her heavenly parent... the one who has all patience, gives us all of His focus, and gives us the grace to begin again. And hopefully, that planted seed in our children will grow and grow until one day they will see this too and they will get to relive this very moment again in your shoes with their own babies.
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